Eliminating Pride

 

What about Pride?   

Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements, but the heart, or core, is still missing.

In the scriptures, The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. We are tempted  to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. 

Our enmity toward God takes on many labels, such as rebellion, hard-heartedness, stiff-neckedness, unrepentant, puffed up, easily offended, and sign seekers. The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren’t interested in changing their opinions to agree with God’s.  

  In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone”…

The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment. (See D&C 3:6–7; D&C 30:1–2; D&C 60:2.) “What will men think of me?” weighs heavier than “What will God think of me?”

King Noah was about to free the prophet Abinadi, but an appeal to his pride by his wicked priests sent Abinadi to the flames. (See Mosiah 17:11–12.) Herod sorrowed at the request  to behead John the Baptist. But his prideful desire to look good to “them which sat with him at meat” caused him to kill John (Matt. 14:9; see also Mark 6:26).

Pride  can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves. Most of us consider pride to be a sin of those on the top, such as the rich and the learned, looking down at the rest of us. (See 2 Ne. 9:42.) There is, however, a far more common ailment among us—and that is pride from the bottom looking up. It is manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.

Pride is self-worship and self-preservation at all costs—and people-pleasing is the direct result of pride. Some think people-pleasing is a positive trait because they're so clearly concerned with serving others.

  Some say that they are hesitant to do or say something because they don’t want to come off as arrogant. In other words, they want to look humble. 

While it’s good to be self-aware and mindful of the impression we give, it can be problematic when we want to appear humble more than we want to actually be humble. Ironically, the very thought of wanting to appear humble to others is pride. Remember that the scriptures teach that “For man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1st Samuel 7:16 RE).

To be humble is to recognize gratefully our dependence on the Lord—to understand that we have constant need for His support. Humility is an acknowledgment that our talents and abilities are gifts from God. It is not a sign of weakness, timidity, or fear; it is an indication that we know where our true strength lies. We can be both humble and fearless. We can be both humble and courageous.  When we recognize our complete dependence on the Lord, we can be both humble and fearless. We can be both humble and courageous.

  Many people have a mistaken belief that having feelings of low self-worth is humility. When we beat ourselves up or put ourselves down, we may think that we’re being humble, but the opposite is true. By excessively pointing out our own flaws and weaknesses and dismissing sincere compliments, we are essentially denying the divinity that exists within us.   Dismissing the divine gifts that we have been given could be an expression of enmity toward God.  Respect yourself as a child of God, and don’t mix up self-degradation with humility.

Avoiding pride means not putting ourselves above others, but it also means not putting ourselves below others.

Humility doesn’t equal self-deprecation, concern about appearance, worry about others’ salvation, or keeping others happy.   It may be letting go of how others see you and focusing instead on how God sees you.  It may be turning over responsibility for another’s salvation back to him/her and exercising an increase of faith and trust in God. It may be allowing someone to have negative feelings toward you without losing self-worth. Whatever it is, acknowledge it and find ways to move forward in true humility, back towards Christ.

 

What about self esteem?  Where does that fit in?

Self esteem (to me) is good when it is because we love ourselves as the Savior asks. That is, when we make decisions that are loving and supportive of our physical and spiritual bodies. 

Self esteem is how you think and feel about yourself—having feelings of worthiness and confidence. It is having more energy for positive pursuits because energy is not wasted on negative emotions, feelings of inferiority. It is not pleasing others at the expense of our own self care.

What are some of these decisions? 

 Eat and drink what is healthy. If we put into our bodies things we KNOW are bad, then we are not loving and esteeming ourselves.

How do I know if I'm proud or prideful? 

 

Some questions  to ask yourself. 

1. Do you find yourself critiquing class lessons? Assuming you already know something when someone is teaching?

2. When adversity strikes, do you hear a voice inside that says, “Why me?”

3. When you do something good, do you hear a voice inside congratulating yourself?

4. Do you feel self-gratification and a sense of importance in your knowledge and skill?

5. Do you find ways to let others know of your success without appearing to boast?

6. If someone corrects a mistake you made, do you feel defensive and resentful?

7. When someone does something that creates inconvenience for you, do you feel annoyed?

8.  Do you see yourself as too good to perform certain tasks?

9.  Do you feel the Need to Consistently Teach People Things?

10. Do you talk about Yourself a Lot? (And have the “need” to have people “understand” you by sharing experiences and life stories. That’s not to say sharing experiences is bad, but make sure it is because someone has inquired and it’s according to the Lord’s will and not just to elevate or defend yourself or to elicit approval.) 

11. Do you catch yourself judging?  (This is one all of us do to some degree.)

 12. Does your faith make you “proud” to belong?  Do you think it makes you better than others? 

13.  Do you believe you’re saved while others will be damned, because they don’t share your faith?  

Pride can also refer to the standards you have for yourself — your dignity. One example is you might have too much pride to ask for help when you need it. Pride also acts as a verb meaning "be proud of." You might pride yourself on being punctual, or pride in always helping someone in need.    

“ Because of pride, and because of false teachers, and false doctrine, their churches have become corrupted, and their churches are lifted up; because of pride they are puffed up.” 2 Nephi 12:1-2

 

Who are “false teachers” that teach “false doctrine?” Does “false” include omission of important truths? If one teaches truths about Christ, but does not teach you how to return to His presence, is the teacher “false?”  

 

What would the opposite religious attitude be for “pride?”  Would humility, a broken heart and a contrite spirit be different than “pride?” What kind of teaching would cause a listener to become contrite, humble, meek and submissive? 

 What kind of teaching would defeat pride and break a person’s heart? 

Can you have both? 

Can you be “humble” and “broken hearted” and also be proud of your religion? 

If you cannot, then can you think deeply about your faith, your meetings,…your private as well as public conversations and ask yourself if the teachers to whom you listen lead you to pride? Lead you to humility? Lead you to repentance?

The query by Alma the Younger in the Book of Mormon, “Are ye stripped of pride?” is more than meaningful.  It is clarifying. The lens we see ourselves through is distorted as long as pride is part of our makeup.

 

There doesn’t seem to be any way to strip ourselves of pride other than to suffer setback, loss, difficulty, disappointment or anguish.  

 

There are only a few people I know who have received God’s greatest approval; who have had the heavens opened to them and heard the voice of God. Almost without exception, they suffer from physical ailments, struggle with aging and reduced physical abilities, have losses, or bear anguish. These burdens have benefited them. Without a strong, corrosive encounter with difficulty they could not strip themselves of pride.

 

We want to be taught a positive religion. We want praise. If something challenges our good self-image we think it unhelpful, negative and even devilish. But the truth is that until we have broken down before God, seen ourselves in our horrible weakness, foolishness and pride, and acquired a broken heart and contrite spirit, we will remain lying children that will not hear the law of the Lord. When our prophets will only speak smooth things to us we are only being deceived. We are compelling the Holy One of Israel to cease from among us.

 

Pride is toxic. It destroys. It damns or stops progression. … We can be prideful over our ancestors and their “accomplishments” or “who they are.”  The profession we have can be a source of much pride. Just ask a doctor or some other professional. Especially those with lab coats.

Many will take pride in the gifts the Lord Jesus Christ has given them. This can be  toxic this to the soul. Those gifts are to be used to benefit the body of Christ, His people. Are they not?

 How many of us reject what He offers because of our pride and ego? 

How many refuse to do His will as He did? But do their own will? 

How many of us believe we know better than our Lord Jesus Christ? We declare that we know and believe in Him, but do we really know and believe Him?  

 

 References: 

Ezra Benson, April conference 1989.

Devotional talk by Kim B. Clark, Pres. BYU-Idaho 

C.S, Lewis, Mere Christianity, 1952, pp. 109–10

Posts from Conquering Spiritual Evil Blog: Aug. 1, 2020, Dec 29, 2022

Blog posts by Denver Snuffer: July 29, 2010, April 14, 2011