Eliminating Pride

 

What about Pride?   

Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements, but the heart, or core, is still missing.

In the scriptures, The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. We are tempted  to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. 

Our enmity toward God takes on many labels, such as rebellion, hard-heartedness, stiff-neckedness, unrepentant, puffed up, easily offended, and sign seekers. The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren’t interested in changing their opinions to agree with God’s.  

  In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone”…

The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment. (See D&C 3:6–7; D&C 30:1–2; D&C 60:2.) “What will men think of me?” weighs heavier than “What will God think of me?”

King Noah was about to free the prophet Abinadi, but an appeal to his pride by his wicked priests sent Abinadi to the flames. (See Mosiah 17:11–12.) Herod sorrowed at the request  to behead John the Baptist. But his prideful desire to look good to “them which sat with him at meat” caused him to kill John (Matt. 14:9; see also Mark 6:26).

Pride  can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves. Most of us consider pride to be a sin of those on the top, such as the rich and the learned, looking down at the rest of us. (See 2 Ne. 9:42.) There is, however, a far more common ailment among us—and that is pride from the bottom looking up. It is manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.

Pride is self-worship and self-preservation at all costs—and people-pleasing is the direct result of pride. Some think people-pleasing is a positive trait because they're so clearly concerned with serving others.

  Some say that they are hesitant to do or say something because they don’t want to come off as arrogant. In other words, they want to look humble. 

While it’s good to be self-aware and mindful of the impression we give, it can be problematic when we want to appear humble more than we want to actually be humble. Ironically, the very thought of wanting to appear humble to others is pride. Remember that the scriptures teach that “For man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1st Samuel 7:16 RE).

To be humble is to recognize gratefully our dependence on the Lord—to understand that we have constant need for His support. Humility is an acknowledgment that our talents and abilities are gifts from God. It is not a sign of weakness, timidity, or fear; it is an indication that we know where our true strength lies. We can be both humble and fearless. We can be both humble and courageous.  When we recognize our complete dependence on the Lord, we can be both humble and fearless. We can be both humble and courageous.

  Many people have a mistaken belief that having feelings of low self-worth is humility. When we beat ourselves up or put ourselves down, we may think that we’re being humble, but the opposite is true. By excessively pointing out our own flaws and weaknesses and dismissing sincere compliments, we are essentially denying the divinity that exists within us.   Dismissing the divine gifts that we have been given could be an expression of enmity toward God.  Respect yourself as a child of God, and don’t mix up self-degradation with humility.

Avoiding pride means not putting ourselves above others, but it also means not putting ourselves below others.

Humility doesn’t equal self-deprecation, concern about appearance, worry about others’ salvation, or keeping others happy.   It may be letting go of how others see you and focusing instead on how God sees you.  It may be turning over responsibility for another’s salvation back to him/her and exercising an increase of faith and trust in God. It may be allowing someone to have negative feelings toward you without losing self-worth. Whatever it is, acknowledge it and find ways to move forward in true humility, back towards Christ.

 

What about self esteem?  Where does that fit in?

Self esteem (to me) is good when it is because we love ourselves as the Savior asks. That is, when we make decisions that are loving and supportive of our physical and spiritual bodies. 

Self esteem is how you think and feel about yourself—having feelings of worthiness and confidence. It is having more energy for positive pursuits because energy is not wasted on negative emotions, feelings of inferiority. It is not pleasing others at the expense of our own self care.

What are some of these decisions? 

 Eat and drink what is healthy. If we put into our bodies things we KNOW are bad, then we are not loving and esteeming ourselves.

How do I know if I'm proud or prideful? 

 

Some questions  to ask yourself. 

1. Do you find yourself critiquing class lessons? Assuming you already know something when someone is teaching?

2. When adversity strikes, do you hear a voice inside that says, “Why me?”

3. When you do something good, do you hear a voice inside congratulating yourself?

4. Do you feel self-gratification and a sense of importance in your knowledge and skill?

5. Do you find ways to let others know of your success without appearing to boast?

6. If someone corrects a mistake you made, do you feel defensive and resentful?

7. When someone does something that creates inconvenience for you, do you feel annoyed?

8.  Do you see yourself as too good to perform certain tasks?

9.  Do you feel the Need to Consistently Teach People Things?

10. Do you talk about Yourself a Lot? (And have the “need” to have people “understand” you by sharing experiences and life stories. That’s not to say sharing experiences is bad, but make sure it is because someone has inquired and it’s according to the Lord’s will and not just to elevate or defend yourself or to elicit approval.) 

11. Do you catch yourself judging?  (This is one all of us do to some degree.)

 12. Does your faith make you “proud” to belong?  Do you think it makes you better than others? 

13.  Do you believe you’re saved while others will be damned, because they don’t share your faith?  

Pride can also refer to the standards you have for yourself — your dignity. One example is you might have too much pride to ask for help when you need it. Pride also acts as a verb meaning "be proud of." You might pride yourself on being punctual, or pride in always helping someone in need.    

“ Because of pride, and because of false teachers, and false doctrine, their churches have become corrupted, and their churches are lifted up; because of pride they are puffed up.” 2 Nephi 12:1-2

 

Who are “false teachers” that teach “false doctrine?” Does “false” include omission of important truths? If one teaches truths about Christ, but does not teach you how to return to His presence, is the teacher “false?”  

 

What would the opposite religious attitude be for “pride?”  Would humility, a broken heart and a contrite spirit be different than “pride?” What kind of teaching would cause a listener to become contrite, humble, meek and submissive? 

 What kind of teaching would defeat pride and break a person’s heart? 

Can you have both? 

Can you be “humble” and “broken hearted” and also be proud of your religion? 

If you cannot, then can you think deeply about your faith, your meetings,…your private as well as public conversations and ask yourself if the teachers to whom you listen lead you to pride? Lead you to humility? Lead you to repentance?

The query by Alma the Younger in the Book of Mormon, “Are ye stripped of pride?” is more than meaningful.  It is clarifying. The lens we see ourselves through is distorted as long as pride is part of our makeup.

 

There doesn’t seem to be any way to strip ourselves of pride other than to suffer setback, loss, difficulty, disappointment or anguish.  

 

There are only a few people I know who have received God’s greatest approval; who have had the heavens opened to them and heard the voice of God. Almost without exception, they suffer from physical ailments, struggle with aging and reduced physical abilities, have losses, or bear anguish. These burdens have benefited them. Without a strong, corrosive encounter with difficulty they could not strip themselves of pride.

 

We want to be taught a positive religion. We want praise. If something challenges our good self-image we think it unhelpful, negative and even devilish. But the truth is that until we have broken down before God, seen ourselves in our horrible weakness, foolishness and pride, and acquired a broken heart and contrite spirit, we will remain lying children that will not hear the law of the Lord. When our prophets will only speak smooth things to us we are only being deceived. We are compelling the Holy One of Israel to cease from among us.

 

Pride is toxic. It destroys. It damns or stops progression. … We can be prideful over our ancestors and their “accomplishments” or “who they are.”  The profession we have can be a source of much pride. Just ask a doctor or some other professional. Especially those with lab coats.

Many will take pride in the gifts the Lord Jesus Christ has given them. This can be  toxic this to the soul. Those gifts are to be used to benefit the body of Christ, His people. Are they not?

 How many of us reject what He offers because of our pride and ego? 

How many refuse to do His will as He did? But do their own will? 

How many of us believe we know better than our Lord Jesus Christ? We declare that we know and believe in Him, but do we really know and believe Him?  

 

 References: 

Ezra Benson, April conference 1989.

Devotional talk by Kim B. Clark, Pres. BYU-Idaho 

C.S, Lewis, Mere Christianity, 1952, pp. 109–10

Posts from Conquering Spiritual Evil Blog: Aug. 1, 2020, Dec 29, 2022

Blog posts by Denver Snuffer: July 29, 2010, April 14, 2011

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bending A Spoon

 WHY bend a spoon??  

Spoons get soft and pliable and you can bend them with less than the normal amount of strength it would seem to require. 

So what?  It helps focus energy. 

Most people can only bend spoons when in a focused frame of mind and able to run energy on some level.  

How to do it? 

There are several methods you can use to bend spoons. 

The most important thing is to get out of your own way and allow it to happen.  Choose a spoon that’s not so thin and weak you can easily bend it with just muscle strength, but not so incredibly thick that you need some kind of machinery to bend it.  You may also choose a fork.  This may give added options, as there are tines.

  The last few weeks I tried it a few times while meditating. I tried a bunch of different things. Having my mind wander was a problem. I eventually got success when I opened my computer and read through and did the suggestions including asking, breathing, focusing, stating intention, running energy, and singing. After about 10-15 minutes, I hadn’t gotten success, so I looked on the computer again for more hints.  Suddenly, I felt a change in the spoon.  It didn’t seem to become warmer, but pliable, so I put slight pressure and it bent.  Wow.  I waited about a minute for it to harden, then focused again for about 30 seconds and bent it back into its original shape.  Then another minute or so and bent it back again.  

1) Hold the spoon in both your hands. Ask the spoon if it will bend for you. (Can pendulum test here.).  Ask if it’s something helpful for you to do at this time.  If you have permission, ask the Savior to help in the process.

2) Flex it a little and feel the natural resistance of the metal. You can set the spoon down while you focus your energy and attention OR keep holding it. 

🙂 Set your intention. “I can bend this spoon.”

3). Construct subtle energies around your body—a balloon of energy built using imagination and intention. 

Breathe—bring in rich golden energy filling whole body.  Imagine flowing through entire body from feet to crown and back down again.  Cascade it as if flowing from edges of an umbrella.  Continuously like a fountain. 

Keep going until you have that balloon of energy around you. 

Direct the flow of energy so it goes down into your arms.

4)  Add energy balls.  Create one about the size of a softball or grapefruit or any size.  Imagine it as any color you like. Perhaps try first with light blue. 

Move the ball around your body through intention. Up and down your arms. Toss it from one hand to the other.

5). Once you feel the energy, pick up the spoon and extend your energy to the spoon.

 Allow the spoon to become infused with your energy.  Bounce the energy and ball back and forth through the spoon. Imagine the spoon is an extension of your hand. Flow the energy through the fingers, spoon and up the other hand. 

6). Tell the spoon what you want it to do. As you hold the spoon and breathe, say, “Bend, spoon, Bend!”  

 You’ll know your spoon is ready to bend when it feels pliable. The metal will soften slightly. Ever seen hard candy being made? When it’s at a certain temperature, it’s soft and pliable, able to be stretched.  This is not hot, but more like slightly above body temperature. 

But when it cools, it sets, becoming hard. The spoon will feel like that. It’ll get soft for a moment or two, maybe a few seconds, then it’ll firm up again. 

You can gently rub it while physically feeling the energy. It may feel similar to a thin coat of warm oil slipping along the hand.

 You may be able to see light perhaps changing from white to a yellow color. The metal may take on a slight shimmering quality. 

If it doesn’t want to give, that’s OK. Keep breathing and running energy. It may initially feel a little “grainy”.  

If it does bend, keep bending and twisting it for as long as it feels soft. Then stop and take a look.

7). Add Counted Breathing—Decide that, when you get to your fifth exhale, the spoon is going to bend for you.  

Know that just as you can bend the fingers of your hand, so too can you bend the spoon. Imagine it as part of your body, part of your hand.

Inhale 1. Exhale.  Inhale 2. Exhale.  Inhale 3. Exhale.  Inhale 4. Exhale.  Inhale 5. Exhale, applying a little pressure to the spoon. 

8) Get excited. You can also try jumping up and down to raise your energy.  

9) Sing to the spoon “Spoon, spoon, happy Mr. spoon, please will you bend for me?” “Bend, bend little spoon.  Bend, oh, bend for me.” (Perhaps to the tune of Give Said the Little Stream)

It sounds ridiculous, but the combination of song and the silliness of it raises vibration and distracts enough to allow the spoon to bend.  When projecting energetically your voice or singing you’re infusing more energy into your efforts. 

It focuses both your attention and intention.

10) Once it has bent,  let it harden and then try bending it back to the original shape.

11). Journal about your experiences--Even if you have not bent the spoon.  What have you learned?  What might you try next time?

References:  Suddenly Psychic by Maureen Caudill

Conquering Spiritual Evil blog--entries on Spoon Bending

ALightIntuition.com, Joanna Bartlett

Nourishing the Listener

 

A couple of “cowboy” Proverbs caught my attention:  

“Generally, You ain’t learnin’ nothin’ when yer mouth is jawin’”

And “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

      We do not listen well in our society. As a child, our hearing was much more developed—to a song, to the rain on the roof. By the time we are adults, many of us lose this excitement. Just as you lose some sense of balance when your ears are plugged, your empathic ability decreases when you stop really listening to the world.

      “The other day, I asked a direct question to one of my kids, didn't listen to a single thing she said when she answered me—literally immediately—after I asked the question. And I'm like, ‘Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't even hear you.’ Her advice is to “pay attention to the speaker; observe the emotions and the body language of the speaker. Do not listen with the intent of solving, changing, or offering up your own viewpoint—for the most part, nobody cares; if they do care, they'll ask you. So, no judgment or evaluation.”  Stephanie Snuffer 

   “…only by listening can we see things as they really are…not only listen to others and the world around us, but to our bodies, our daily habits, and the voice of God.The reason we do not listen is because we are afraid to be moved--moved by emotion, by inspiration, or moved from our fixed positions.”   Glenda Green 

       “Our brains act as receivers for the mind in much the same way a television translates waveforms into pictures and sound.  Compare it to trying to take a TV apart to see how it makes old reruns of I Love Lucy.  If you throw your new digital set out the window and watch it smash into a million pieces, your favorite programs will still be floating through the air, even though you can't detect them with your senses. 

So it is, with what many call non-local mind, which implies that thoughts, memories and perspectives you hold will continue after your physical receiver shuts down and is buried in the ground.

There is also a similar point made with a cell phone.  Phone calls from millions of people are streaming down from satellites, going everywhere, including to my desk, but I do not hear any of them.  However, my phone is tuned so that it can register a certain pattern, start ringing and initiate communication.  It serves as antenna, tuner and amplifier.”  Linda Kohanov

People spend lives mentally preening themselves, constantly talking and thinking about themselves, so they can't properly perceive or hear.  When others talk, they don't listen, for they are listening to the incessant chatter in their heads…focused on the outpourings of what is often a fearful and disconnected mind--one that is missing most of what is going on.  Life becomes a blur, most can't describe what happened yesterday, let alone last week.

Some Suggestions from Andrei Ridgeway:

Music:  Find music that really touches you—makes your eyes water.  Once you’ve found something you like, devote yourself to some deep listening.  Use headphones, light a candle, close the blinds.  As you are listening, imagine tiny sensors all over your skin receiving the music.  Feel it, not just as sounds, but as a frequency, an intricate code channeling through your body.  Whatever emotions grab you, let them have their full expression.  After 10 or 15 mins, imagine the music as a liquid pouring into your heart, a green river healing painful emotions and feelings. Visualize a circle of heat where the sound can enter.  When the music is over, stay on your back for 5 minutes and rest in the space you have carved.  What is your body saying to you?

Try the exercise with both vocal and instrumental music.  See which one gives better results.

Listening to music enhances our receptivity. Whether negative or positive.

Poetry:     Watch the images of the poetry as they move inside you in slow motion.  Hear them, feel them, breathe them.  Feel each word as it slips from your body. Read and feel, savoring each phrase as you would a cloud or a strawberry.  Let your heart be the interpreter.  Simplicity and clarity are vital.   See if you can feel in your body what the writer is like in real life.  Often it is the feeling behind the words that moves us—not the diction that feeds our soul. This could be applied to scriptures, too—especially the poetry.

Listening to the World:  Practice listening in the midst of chaos.  Breathe slowly, imagine the sense of hearing encompassing the whole body. Visualize all the parts of your body listening.  Make yourself into a chamber of sound, a miniature auditorium.   

On the other end of the spectrum, go into nature and tune into the discreet hush and subtle frequencies of moving leaves, chirping crickets, trickling streams.

 

Observe body language.  Discover how blissful it is to be present while another person is communicating.  Listening is a sacred activity. Whether it be a siren of a fire truck, the wind, 

the laughter of a child—these are all voices, sounds from our Creator to guide us through the day.  Wind chimes, grandfather clock, birds.

Something about the human brain enjoys being in dialogue with itself.  The challenge is to separate the chatter from the intuitive voice. A lot of our insecurities, doubts, fears and anxieties are voices we have picked up from other people.  The obstacle is weeding out other voices…dot people, parents, media, friends. It is easy to absorb one of these voices and let it control our lives.

The voice that heals:   

One step you can take is to imagine someone who has real wisdom.  How would it feel for them to speak to you.  How would this voice reverberate in your body when it gave you advice.  This may be an actor, poet, singer, prophet, church leader.  How about Heavenly Father? Heavenly Mother? Jesus Christ? How about the Holy Ghost?  Talk to them.  Imagine what they look like to you.  Ask. Is it the same for everyone? Is it possible that the Holy Ghost is different for each person?   Can you REALLY receive it? Instead of just hoping it's around to guide you? 

The moment you awaken the possibility of having a wise voice available inside you, the voice will appear.  Invite the voice to speak to you and trust the process.  The moment you get a response, a nibble on the line, ask the voice questions, talk with it, ask for guidance in your daily life  If you are bombarded with mental chatter, take ten slow breaths and relax the body. The dialogue may be extremely subtle.  A wave of feeling will pass through and you will KNOW  what the voice is saying.

Take some time each day to listen. Sit in a quiet place and ask three questions about things to do in your future.  Start with small questions and work your way up.  What should I have for dinner?  Whom should I correspond with?  How is my mother feeling today?

Write down the exact answers the voice tells you.  If they resonate with your heart, make you feel good inside, then follow them and see what happens.

 

From Stuart Wilde about Sensitivity and Hearing:  

Sit on a park bench and just listen to what is going on around you.

Visualize yourself with ultrasensitive, big elf=like ears.  Tell yourself that you can now mentally move your ears and search for sounds.  

 

From Pete A. Sanders: 

What is psychic hearing like? Most of the time it is gentle and subtle, like hearing quiet music or a muted voice that speaks through headphones.  It may be mistaken for talking to yourself.    

 

From Kirk Duncan:

“Why would any sane human consider getting up at 3 AM?  Everything  is quiet and still.  It is a priceless time to connect with your higher power— 

Here are some suggestions on how to hear Heavenly father’s voice, sense impressions and listen.  Need to “tune in”.   Just like a radio station, there are different sounds on different frequencies. 

Sometimes, ohh wait, it gets messy, and can't be sorted out. Mixed messages are squelched. Now you give up and say God doesn't answer prayers.  If only you knew how priceless it was to hear a heavenly voice telling you are worth it.  

  Go someplace where there is noise like a mall, store or in nature.  Sit down. Be there 20-30 minutes.  Look around.  Notice.  As you're looking, tune in to those who are talking or giggling, all different things.  Close your eyes.   Tune into a particular noise.  Train yourself to tune in to that particular noise.Train your brain what to do.   It's a spiritual IV=Image/Voice.

While eyes are closed, imagine that talking or noise (pick one) sounds like.  Listening is imagining and tuning in.  Imagine all the details of that noise.  Then, pick another one, create in your mind what is going on. You are teaching your brain a skill…to pick out noise and fine tune. The voice is trying to guide you.  It's there telling you everyday.  Create the image in your mind.  It teaches the brain the skill of seeking “station".  If your current situation is still bad, then you are not done!  If you're in misery, do it! Own up to the fact, you are responsible for results. Quit blaming others.  Blame blinds you and you can't see what to do next!  3-4am is the magical hour. “  

From Celeste Headlee:  “How many of you have unfriended someone on facebook because they said something said something offensive about politics, religion, child care, food…?  How many of you know a person who you avoid because you just don’t want to talk to them? 

  This world we live in, in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument. Politicians can’t speak to one another and even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting passionately for it or against it.  It’s not normal.  Peer research did a study of 10,000 American adults and they found that at this moment we are more polarized and divided than we ever have been in History.   

We’re less likely to compromise which means were not listening to each other.  

Conversation requires balance between talking and listening.  Some where along the way we lost that balance.

 

How to have better conversations:

1). Don’t multitask, be present in the moment. Be attentive.

2). Don’t pontificate.  If you want to state your opinion with no opportunity for response, write a blog.  Enter every conversation assuming you have something to learn.  True listening requires setting aside of one’s self. Sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion.  Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.  Everybody is an expert in something.

 

3) Use open ended questions. Start questions with who, what, where, why and how.  If you put in a complicated question you’re gonna get a simple answer out.

4) Go with the flow.  Thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind.  Your stories—let them come then let them go.

5). If you don’t know, say that you don’t know.

6). Don’t equate your experience with theirs.  It is never the same.  You don’t need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you suffered.  Conversations are not a promotional opportunity.

7). Try not repeat yourself.  It’s condescending and really boring. Notice your words. And your response.

8). Stay out of the weeds. People don’t care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details you’re struggling to come up with.  They don’t care.  What they care about is YOU—what are you like?  What do have in common?  So forget the details. Leave them out.

9). LISTEN.  The #1 most important skill you could develop.  “If your mouth is open, you’re not learning.”  “No man ever listened his way out of a job.” We would rather talk.  When we’re talking were in control.  I don’t have to hear anything I’m not interested in.  I’m the center of attention.  I can bolster my own identity.  We get distracted.  It takes effort and energy to actually pay attention to someone.  If you can’t do that, your not in a conversation.  Most of us listen with the intent to reply. Listen to your family's needs instead of telling them what you want.

10). Be brief.  “Be sincere, be brief, be seated.” FDR.  Keep mouth shut as often as possible.  Keep mind open and always prepared to be amazed.

 

From Mel Fish:

“The conscious mind is the mind of the body. To gain mastery over the body, one must learn to listen to that still, small voice, even when it is in direct opposition to the thoughts of the conscious mind.  

 

Listen to your own body and give it true nourishment.

Allow yourself to develop a conversational relationship with friends no longer with you.  Then include non-human friends, animals, plants and vital activities.  Most importantly, converse with God.

References:

Kirk Duncan, Compact disc recording, 3 AM

Pete A Sanders, You Are Psychic

Andrei Ridgeway,  Psychic Living 

Glenda Green, Keys of Jeshua

Linda Kohanov, Riding Between the Worlds

Stuart Wilde, Sixth Sense

Mel Fish, Healing the Inner Self

Stephanie Snuffer, talk on “Self Awareness”, 2022

https://www.ted.com/talks/celeste_headlee_10_ways_to_have_a_better_conversation